Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

07 May, 2011

What Are You Doing With Your Insomnia?

I've been a fan of Owl City for a while, and love knowing that Adam Young also suffers from insomnia. He, like me, finds some relief from sleeping in moving vehicles, but generally hasn't found answers from medicine. Today, while enjoying the song The Saltwater Room, I reflected on how Adam has used his insomnia to create beautiful things that bless others. What am I doing with my insomnia? I'm challenged to create rather than consume. How can I redeem my late-night sleeplessness? What can I do that will glorify God and bless others?

Then John Piper's famous blog post about redeeming cancer came to mind. So, like everyone else on the internet, I'm rewriting that list to reflect one of my biggest struggles. This list is still a draft, so feel free to add ideas!

  1. You will waste your insomnia if you do not believe it is designed for you by God. II Corinthians 3:18
  2. You will waste your insomnia if you believe it is a curse and not a gift. James 1:5, James 4:6
  3. You will waste your insomnia if you seek comfort from coping mechanisms rather than from God. Matthew 11:28-30
  4. You will waste your insomnia if you refuse to think about the worst. God's grace is sufficient! II Corinthians 12:9
  5. You will waste your insomnia if you think that "beating" insomnia means sleeping regularly rather than cherishing Christ.
  6. You will waste your insomnia if you spend too much time thinking about sleep and not enough time thinking about God.
  7. You will waste your insomnia if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepening your relationships and making your love for others obvious.
  8. You will waste your insomnia if you are hopeless. Hope is not found in a cure, but in the Son of God.
  9. You will waste your insomnia if you treat sin as casually as before. Don't shift the blame from your self to your insomnia!
  10. You will waste your insomnia if you don't use it to witness to the truth and glory of Christ.
Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).~John Piper

24 May, 2010

March 30th Was A Long Time Ago...

...considering the speed of the internet. However, at the consistent encouragement of iJosh, I am now on Twitter. Fo now, I am pointing my words at this webpage.

Tonight I visited another fencing club and had a terrible performance in the midst of serious, experienced fencers. I enjoyed the competition, but am frustrated with the mental block between what I know and what I do. Kinda like how I'm helpless before spiritual enemies. I've been meditating on Psalm 116 a lot recently (and Psalm 27). How appropriate to tie my physical weaknesses to my spiritual weaknesses. Even in "fair" competition, I am helpless without my Lord.

Words escape me, so allow me to paint a picture. I'm driving home from fencing, disappointed in myself and asking God why. The David Crowder Band's Church Music album is playing, and the lyrics break through my confusion.
"O grant us reprieve from the fighting
So we just rest our head on the shoulder of the One!"
I can't drive any more, because the Spirit has arrested my soul, and road safety is secondary to the One.
"We are loved!
And it's quite enough
That we are loved!"
Those Psalms come to mind, and I thank the Lord, for
"He has heard
my voice and my pleas for mercy."
I recently decided to pursue an even higher education. An education that will allow me to translate the Bible for people groups who have yet to read the Holy Word in their mother tongue. Think of how different your life would be if the Bible were still in Vulgate Latin, and you can imagine their difficulty. God has placed a specific people group on my heart for whom to pray. I can't picture their faces; I don't know how they communicate; but I want to be the lampstand from which the Holy Spirit illuminates the Bible to them. I get goosebumps, thinking about the possibilities.

None of this is possible on my own. Every day, I wake up and rely on the Lord for inspiration and providence and joy.

11 June, 2009

Suummmmmmmertiiiiiiiiime...And The Posting Is Seldommmmmmm...

Today felt like the first "real" day of Summer. It was hot, humid, and I worked for a total of 12 hours at two jobs. Yes, I am a workaholic, and this is rarely more evident than during Summers.

Quickie update: I spent a week in a three-room apartment in NYC helping a friend reorganize her apartment and eating amazing food. Note: Don't cut through ancient plaster ceilings without knowing what's up there. There could be a live gas pipe :P When I got back, we had the last fencing practice of the year, and of our current head coach's career. Then I had my first week at my new job, which is an incredible blessing (despite appearances--isn't that how God usually works?). Then I spent three days in Akron doing sound tech work for a dance show. The show almost shocked me out of my seat...and definitely distracted me from my job :-P I hope my job didn't distract anyone from the show...

It's been a whirlwind month, and I love life like that. Unfortunately, something major in my life is changing, and I am having a hard time adjusting, and wondering if perhaps I should change in response to these new possible situations. I'm not free to discuss what it is, but I'm losing sleep over it. Encouragement has come from the oddest of places. A friend blogged about remodeling, my iPod (Max) randomly played this song, another song played in the restaurant where I work (the band seems promising). All of this in addition to good conversations with important people. God is showering grace on me constantly, pressed down and shaken together.

Speaking of grace, here's a Zambia update: I'm not 100% positive, but it looks as if (assuming I can get the deadline pushed back a few days) I'll have the Zambia trip completely paid for by next week?! Praise God in unutterable ways!

17 May, 2009

Sunlight

This band played at my sister's college recently. Even though I wasn't familiar with their music, I enjoyed it so much. This song, in particular, was so much fun live. I later found out that Noele was a "mentor" to me when I first started to play violin with my church. She sent my father a long e-mail about how a violinist can contribute to the worship experience. I admit...I turned into a fan girl and got everyone to sign a poster advertising the event. Cheesy? Perhaps. But I enjoyed it :-) Hopefully I'll see them play live again!

17 April, 2009

Silent Arithmetic

Not gonna lie: This was amazing.

MUTEMATH - Spotlight


Favorite moments:
Greg loses a button.
Roy's alligator claps.
Moshing with drums!
Rhodes solo!

These dudes are genii.

30 March, 2009

Musical Profiling

A friend of a friend recently drew up musical profiles of our mutual friend's blog readers. I was one of them. I find the results to be quite amusing.

My Top Ten Bands (on 28 February 2009...this changes constantly)
Antonio Vivaldi
Georg Friederic Handel
Joshua Bell
Switchfoot
Mute Math
Skillet
Seamus Egan
Michael Buble
Imogen Heap
David Crowder Band

My Profile [my edits are in brackets]
Probably oldest of the 3 [who responded to my friend's post]
Quite [quiet?] Reflective Type
Financially Stable

Amusing, no? He was wrong about being oldest, and I am not quiet (though I am reflective). And I'm financially stable compared to some, so I guess that's accurate, too. How accurate do you think it is?

21 March, 2009

Music

So much good music exists. Allow me to expound.

Animal Collective
I learned about this band because of an acquaintance. She's a sweet photographer! And the band is weird. I love their sound. I hope they play a concert in my city some day soon.

Reilly
This band I saw live at my sister's school. It was the first live music show I'd seen in months...besides Open Mic Night, which isn't really a show. Anyway. It was so worth the hourlong drive. Fantastic people. The lone female in the band was a mentor, of sorts, when I began to play violin with the worship team at church. I bought a CD, which I had no plans of doing. I have plans of not buying anything until I make $3,000 for Zambia, but apparently music is addicting.

Last Wednesday, I met a personal hero. More on that after I sleep a bit.

27 June, 2008

All I Could Do...

...was watch it again. And again. And thank God for talent :-)


04 February, 2008

I Should Write A Song About This

I'm not tired at all! And I'm craving chocolate, which is a terrible combination. But, in other news, the Forrest Gump Suite by Alan Silvestri is really good! 80's movies had good soundtracks, despite the hair and the general foul-mouth-ed-ness. Also, Sarah Chang will be playing Vivaldi's Four Seasons in my city soon...

Speaking of music (I do a lot of that, don't I?), check out this song. It's got an interesting history.
You can download the mp3 for free!

21 January, 2008

Not Dead Yet

I've had the same stereo for about 10 years. I love it. I paid $70 for it all that time ago, and it's served me incredibly well. It's balanced very well and has a good range. It may be small enough for me to pick up, but the bass can shake the floor. But the tweeters are quality too...and it puts out good mids. It's got a somewhat weak 3-band EQ, but hey--it's an EQ. The only thing I don't like about it is that it lacks an auxiliary input.

During the Christmas season, when I was making peppermint fudge like it would solve the problem of world hunger, this stereo resided in the kitchen to assist in the fudging process. When I moved it back into my room, it didn't work. Weird. I switched out the power cord to see if that would help. It didn't. I tried a third power cord. No go. So today when I cleaned my room, I put it outside my door to trash it. I was sad--this thing had been the instrument on which so much good music had become auditory. Its bass had bothered my parents to no end (sorry, Mom) and caused me much rejoicing. Ah, well. Maybe, in a few months, I'd be able to afford another (used, of course) stereo. Until then, I'd assault my ear drums with headphones. *sigh*

On my way through the house looking for a cord to connect my camera to the computer, I found yet a fourth power cord that could work for my stereo. Hmm..why not? I tried it. IT WORKS!

It's stuff like this that makes me sure that God is very present and cares deeply about me. You probably are confused and amused that I'm so excited to have my stereo back, but God seems to understand the significance :-P I can't wait to blast Mae's Everglow album on that thing :-D But for now I gotta get out of my PJs and fence...

16 January, 2008

New Music

I had no clue that not buying music this year would be so hard. I also had no clue that my favorite beatboxer/flautist was recording a CD with his band, PROJECT. They're pretty sweet! I'm definitely going to be looking out for this album in 2009...and hey, maybe they'll come visit my city! (Not my father's cave-city in Mirkwood, silly! Although I'm sure they'd be welcome there, if they could find the place.)

12 December, 2007

If This Doesn't Make Sense, It's Vincent's Fault...

I've come to the sudden conclusion that it's hard to be idealistic about one's work. If I went into an art field, it would have something to do with the visual arts, but I've been afraid to follow this path because I'm idealistic about what and how I would create art. And yet, I love music but don't claim to be a musician. I am an instrumentalist, yes. I know how to play the violin and can produce good notes (with exception, of course). But I don't know music, and cannot produce good original music (I may be able to jam, but only because I've studied Sevcek's variations). So it's much easier to be idealistic about the kind of music I enjoy than the kind of art I create. After all, if my next meal would depend on the the shape of pot I throw, I'd certainly throw something that would sell, not necessarily the shape I want to throw (though hopefully I'd get to do that, too). There are careers to which this doesn't apply. I hope CPAs aren't not idealistic about their work...the idea is to have integrity, after all.

I love studying the interaction between the visual and the auditory art spheres.

09 December, 2007

Oh, man...



These guys amuse me, even when they don't have a huge tech crew and lots of money. Jon must have either taken singing lessons or gotten serious back pain from singing like that... And, wow, Tim must have stopped dyeing his hair between then and now. And Jon has yet to cut his since then. At least Chad has some follicular sense :-P

29 November, 2007

4 AM?

Hm, still not able to sleep. My left hand is numb; I can't feel the keys as I type. Weird.

Good news! I suppose...well, probably not. It turns out I am becoming a MuteMath groupie. Bummer. But I just bought their EP (Reset) off of half.com, where it had been previously priced at $35 ish. No, silly, I didn't get it for that much. Because I waited for 3 years (yeah, I knew about the band way back when they released the EP), I saved a whole $0.02!

I can feel my left hand now. Goodnight.

20 November, 2007

Concerts

Oh, so much to blog about. Seriously. Don't read my next post. But I wanted to see if anyone was interested in these concerts...

January 11-13, Joshua Bell will be in town again! He's the best musician I've ever heard...

February 21-23, a concert featuring parts of Tchaikovsky's Romeo & Juliet will be playing. The interesting thing about this concert, though, is that a female percussionist will be premiering a new concerto. Fascinating...

Would anyone be interested in coming with me? Let me know if you are. I definitely want to hear Joshua Bell again, and this percussionist seems worth at least $12.50.

08 November, 2007

The Best Concert Yet

Oh my. Where to start? With sleep deprivation from midterm preparation? With the cup of deliciously caffeinated frozen chai from Kiva Han's? From a religious demonstration on campus that was soon swallowed by an anti-demonstration of homosexuals where a friend was passionately reading something in support of gay rights? Or perhaps the 54C bus driver refusing to open the bus doors, causing me to be late?

Nah. It started years ago. I don't even remember when or why I first heard MuteMath, but I knew it had some connections to an old band I liked called Earthsuit. [EDIT: I just heard their song "Peculiar People," and I think that song got me interested in the band. I often sing this song as I walk to the bus stop, or feel particularly weird.] So I watched some videos, bought the album, and fell as deeply in love with them as one can with a band. No, I'm not a groupie. Their music is simply that good. I've heard it said that people who like Mute Math are fans of music, not the band. Interesting. Explains my point, I hope. Though I do think their creativity extends beyond music. Go look them up on YouTube...Darren is hilarious.

Years before Mute Math, however, I liked Eisley. I still don't understand why they're just an opening band...I've liked them for years! Are my musical tastes just that obscure? Anyway. I saw them on tour with Switchfoot, and it wasn't bad. They weren't amazing live, but kinda like playing the CD, just really loud, with bass that will shake your pants. So the sound was good, but not the show. Still, I like them a lot.

On Tuesday a month ago, all the fun stuff mentioned in the first paragraph was accomplished and/or observed. That whole religion vs. gay rights thing had me thinking pretty hard, and I may actually blog those thoughts when I have time (like...when? Yeah). Yay for a newfound friend, Steve. He's a lot of fun, and during this trip I got a good quote out of him, though I forget the details. Something to the effect of "I just don't get awkward." I shall have to keep that in mind.

After I found a bus driver who would open the door for me, I got to Steve's neighborhood. We jumped in hiss black Taurus and found John Behrens and took off for Cleveland. John zonked out in the back seat, so Steve and I talked about music and road trips (he took 4 friends, 3.5 weeks, and a few thousand dollars to tour the US. So cool!). Dinner was some sandwich from Au Bon Pain that had really spicy guacamole. But I got a jar of actual tea, which was cool. No preservatives, no high fructose corn syrup, nothing but not-from-concentrate tea. Cleveland was crowded because the Indians were there for a playoff game. Parking was expensive and hard to find, but we found a sweet meter which was a block away from John Q's Grille. Never been there, but the name was cool!

Then, back to the creepy, oppressive House of Blues. They've got this thing going on..."Unity in Diversity," or something, and have icons from major world religions all over the place. Ugh. But the first thing I noticed were my friends. Some of the Akron kids came up for the show, and I had a sweet reunion with Jess. That girl is a breath of joyful, beautiful air, and I wish I had more time to spend with her. I got to meet some of Steve's friends, too (he grew up near Cleveland). So we mulled around, chatting a bit, forcing our way forward as much as possible, and waiting for Eisley.

Eisley was good. This time around the vocals (which I've always loved) were much more stylized, and I think Stacy and Sherri have gotten much better with time. Garron (the bassist) had a disgusted look on his face...I felt bad for him. They also played songs from their new CD, which was cool. Their new sound is a lot more aggressive. Nice. They finally played Trolley Wood :-D At points during their set, I'd realize what they're playing, light up, glance at John, and we'd both exclaim "I LOVE this song!" or some variation thereof. Dave T also got hooked. He kept muttering about poetry inspirations and stuff.

Eisley left, and we waited. Craig reminded me of the Switchfoot concert, when I got tired and sore, so I just sat down on the floor between sets. Well this time I talked to Dave, tried to convince Steve that we should swing dance to the background music, rubbed John's shoulders, and tickled Jess. We pressed forward as much as possible to get close to the stage...I'd guess I was about 5 feet from it? REALLY close. Close enough to tell that Paul Meany was sweating before he started playing. Fortunately, we were also on the drummer's side of the stage.

"I approach my instrument as a frustrated athlete."~Darren King (source)
Ohhh, MuteMath. You rock. In so many ways. So, check this out--Darren, the drummer, TAPES HIS HEADPHONES TO HIS HEAD. That's certainly a sign that one should prepare for an adventure. He also had a sparse drum kit, but boy he used it maximally. He is amazing. Love in the form of a drummer, as Steve said. Heh. Any time I saw Steve he was gaping at Darren, as if he could become a better drummer just by watching Darren's genius firsthand. I certainly enjoyed the drumming. His vibes are close to my soul's rhythm, if that makes sense. His beats are creative and unpredictable and tight. At one point in the show, he pulled his drumset apart, heaped the kick drum and other random parts on the Rhodes piano and jammed there for a bit. Meanwhile Greg was playing his board full of effects pedals, Roy was playing a cymbal with his hands and a stick, and Paul was beating the life out of a freestanding bass drum.
"I want to make it hard for people to be hopeless." ~Paul Meany, in Soulshine
The lead singer/keyboardist, Paul, is childishly energetic. Not in an immature way, he just came up with crazy stuff to do and had weirdly cool dance moves and loved interacting with the crowd. He drifted between a synth, a Fender Rhodes piano, a keytar, and an instrument they made out of an Atari game console. Unfortunately the keytar broke about halfway through the concert, but I didn't miss it all that much. Paul likes to jump around, and at one point was pounding his keyboard, decided his feet would do better than his hands, and jumped on it. Bad idea--he was unbalanced and hit the stage pretty hard, knocking his mic stand over in the process (it almost hit me!). But he bounded up and kept going. A note about the Rhodes piano (get it?)--they sawed the lid in half so that just the keys were exposed, thereby protecting the rest of the instrument. Wow. Oh, yeah, he'd hit a chord then do handstands on the thing, too. I laughed out loud.

And, oh, man--Roy, the bassist, played an upright bass for "Obsolete," which was so cool! The pickups were taped onto the fingerboard, which was curious. I'm guessing they were pilfered off of an electric bass. He knows bass, in my opinion...he's not just a wanna-be guitarist or someone who wants to be in a band but give minimal effort. He knows what he's doing. Plus, I just loved seeing a classical instrument on a stage with weird electronic instruments and effects pedals. Greg, the guitarist, was amazing, as I've come to expect from lead guitarists. He had a big...guitar...that I was curious about. It was a hollow-body electric guitar with f-holes...it looked "vintage" (i.e. old), and I loved the sound. Of course, his effects pedals may have had something to do with that sound. Those pedals, by the way, were all screwed onto a board, which he carried around and played sans guitar (and maybe a sampler was involved).

The whole band was good with crowd interaction, which is cool because usually that responsibility falls on the lead singer. The crowd there was excellent, and a lot of people knew and sang the words, which the band seemed to appreciate a lot. Because of this they seemed like real people, not just "artists" on a pedestal who assumed people's appreciation.

I wanted to post a video from one of their shows, but I don't have a favorite one. So go here, or here. Just don't stay there for too long...

17 April, 2007

The Night The Elf Turned Emo

Apparently, folks, elves can and will become emo. This weekend has been a defined trough in my emotional state. Despite many things. I have the suspicion this is because of vitamin deficiency, but we'll find out. Regardless, it doesn't justify the angry behavior I've had for a few days. Tonight, after finishing my taxes (ironically), I began to think about the spiritual aspect of being depressed. I've started to realize I get depressed when I'm very inactive (like what happened in January of this year), which is usually the result of sickness or injury. But I think I've also been depressed because I have devoted 0% of my time to God.

Duh, Laedelas. "Cut" by Plumb started to play on iTunes tonight, and I was astonished. First of all, because I didn't know this song was on my playlist. Second, because (except for the physical violence) the song described a lot of my emotions. The second verse "hit the spot," so to speak. I began to think about the implications of my depression, because I was relishing it. The phrase "crippled anger" humbled me. I am God's, am I not? Why should I be drowning myself in my sin?

Then I got emo. Because of the pirate party (post is upcoming), I had bought two pencils of black eyeliner at the $1 store. I hadn't used it at the party, but it came in handy tonight. I used them on paper, though, not skin. I hashed through my emotions in art, which I haven't done in a long time. The creative forces hammered at my mind in ways they haven't for years. I ended up with 6 pictures, and I cheated 'cos I used a stick of bright red pastel.

I must say, eyeliner pencils are great for drawing, they just need to be sharpened constantly.
I went through one and a half pencils. Maybe some day I'll scan the pictures and describe their meaning.

#1: Condemnation
This describes how I feel when I'm depressed. There's a bottomless pit of black, heavy air, and I'm chained to prevent resistance. The descent is painful and inevitable. Thus the wild black scribblings. If this picture had an accompanying music clip, it would be screaming.

#2: Resignation.
I drew this, describing how I wallowed in my depression and gave myself to my sin. After I finished, I realized what I was doing, and drew a thick line through it with the word "no!" at the end of the line. I didn't want to rest here in any sense.

#3: Redemption.
This one shows a red hand, reaching toward my hands, and the chains pulling apart. The shading didn't exactly turn out, but it looks explosive. That's the point.

#4: Redemption part I:
The title should have been "Justification," but I think I was so happy about the redemptive picture that I forgot. The girl is dressed in white, with arms stretched out, twirling in the black air. Her heart is red, showing vivacity. This picture shows two ideas: Freedom and life.

#5: Redemption part II:
A white hand holds the broken chains and is surrounded by a haze of red. The red haze and the blurriness of "Redemption" is meant to show pain. This hand, the hand of God, took my chains and owned them. This is why it's justification...I am now free, dressed in white, with a new life, and God has paid for the change with his own life and comfort. His pain is my gain.

#6: Sanctification.
The girl, dressed in white, still has a red heart. She is still standing in the black air, but sees a solid, real way out of it. This is represented by the straight line. It's hazy on one side, still, because the way is narrow, like the edge of a knife. She must walk this line, which Christ laid down, to become more like him and lose the darkness.

10 April, 2007

Guitar Hero

Switchfoot just released their new music video. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to digest their new album, but of all the snippets I've heard, this song seems to be one of the best. And they involved my two favorite video games! I laughed at how funny the video was when the music is somewhat serious (I think). All of the animation of the video game was frame-by-frame. Sweet! Also, that outfit the chick was wearing was so cool, though you'll probably never see it on me :-P Enjoy...

09 April, 2007

Love, Actually

Song of Solomon.

What comes to mind? The picture of a perfect union? A book in the Bible that was incredibly embarrassing when first you stumbled upon it in your adolescence?

"Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases."
This phrase is mentioned three times in this book about love as God designed it (here, here, and here). Each time, the phrase is adjured to "daughters." I think that message is pretty clear and direct, don't you?

Since today is the day that my church chooses to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, I've been thinking about the love that drove Jesus to the cross, then empowered him to regain life. That's some intense love. I've experienced his love in many practical ways today. Grace to wake up early and serve my church joyfully. Nourishment that was pleasing to my eyes and palate. Family members who provoke my growth. Friends who enjoy my presence. However, on the way home from (yet) another time with friends, I saw a picture of the "love" that the world portrays as best. I failed miserably at controlling the radio in the car, so through music I realized the depravity of even well-intentioned men, and the disgusting perversity of those who relish their sinful ways.

Lately, I've been realizing how widespread sexual sin is among people who aren't in the least ready for marriage, specifically those who are still in school. Why have we divorced the idea that intimacy goes hand-in-hand with commitment, and that intense preparation precedes them both? Why is it so easy to desire relationships that I know I cannot commit to, or that I'm not ready for?

Well, duh. Satan knows our weak spots, and so constructs a culture for young adults that's swimming in debauchery, with a twisted view of what God created to be perfect. I've tried to avoid this in what pictures I willingly see, but I think I've allowed myself to listen to music that compromises the integrity of my thought. The music itself may present God's plan for love in a negative or positive light, but regardless, I shouldn't be listening to it. I am not in a relationship that would allow me to enjoy such music without tempting me to sin. So, I've come up with a few categories by which I will be judging the music I hear.

  • DISGUSTING: There is absolutely no redeeming value in music of this kind. Unfortunately, a lot of rap and hip-hop can be categorized here. It may be fun, but is anything but worthwhile (I'm not throwing these genres out the window, and they are by no means the only genres to produce such music. I'm forced to play off a stereotype to illustrate my point.)
  • WORTHWHILE, BUT NOT YET: Music that illustrates a facet or two of the love that God presents in Song of Solomon, but facets to which I should not look. Unfortunately, many of my favorite songs fall into this category. "Closing In" by Imogen Heap is a good example. Some day, I could see myself on a road trip with my husband, and it's late at night, and this song will start to play...and therein lies the problem. I can't be thinking about such situations! Time for that will come! I don't want to kill the anticipation of romance before it actually gets here. I have a playlist in iTunes titled "Not-Yet Love," and I intend to put such songs in that playlist and leave them there until it pleases God to awaken such emotions.
  • WRITTEN JUST FOR MY SITUATION: These songs are about love, but through some amazing design of God, don't tempt me to think of romance. Songs like "Carry You" by Rebecca St. James, or "You Are Mine" by Mute Math. Many of them, I've noticed, can be applied directly to my relationship with God, though I could see them as romantic songs when the time comes. Thank God for these songs. I love listening to them because of their encouraging nature. Through these songs, I can begin to recognize what God's design for love is, without falling into the trap of worldly lusts. I've grouped these in a playlist titled, simply, "Love."

I think this system may help me to keep my thoughts clean and my actions pure. Unfortunately, I can't choose what I hear all of the time, but having such a classification system will help me to recognize temptation and resist it.

Why am I telling you this? I'm hoping that my experiences might somehow encourage you. If you're married, enjoy the romance :-) If you aren't in a romantic relationship, perhaps you'll be encouraged to keep your mind pure. If you're considering such a relationship, I know plenty of songs with which you could woo your beloved :-P

22 March, 2007

I was supposed to pack tonight...

...instead, I got inspired. I've heard that creative people get inspired while laying down (totally true--if I ever get to be a professional artist, my studio will have a bed or long couch in it), and I'm beginning to think that they often get inspired when something else is pressing for their time. Something that would be more logical to complete before recording one's inspiration...but the inspiration always seems so evanescent the moment it comes. So here I am, laying around and ignoring logic.

Anyway.

My mother and I watched the movie Amazing Grace tonight. I like it. A lot. It showcases two of my personal heroes: John Newton and William Wilberforce. Somehow, I'd never known they were connected. Ian Gruffoldd did a great job showing passion, but also desperation. The scene between him and his wife as he was withdrawing from laudanum addiction is my personal favorite. Mom said it was better the second time through, and I can see why. Characters switch ages and locations quite frequently, and with little warning. I'm planning on getting the DVD eventually, so if any of you want to borrow it, let me know!

When the movie was over, my heart was ignited yet again with a desire to do great things. Ever since I was a child, I've felt destined for something big, whether that be surviving a nasty medical condition or changing society. As a teenager, God taught me to be content in ordinary circumstances, though I haven't stopped dreaming of big things or scaring myself with stories of how I could get sick. Lately, I think I've become comfortable, not just content, with ordinary things. That strikes me as sad. Maybe it's another sign that I'm growing older, but I don't like it.

I rarely read Boundless, but tonight I found an article called Optional Anxiety. My first reaction to it was, "Umm...guys, I can't settle for ordinary." Not that I'm trying to get rich as fast as possible, or be famous or anything, but I can't accept a humdrum future. I'd rather be living on pennies in a third-world country than go where I see many of my peers going. Inspiration came a few minutes later. Maybe the way I can be different is through living for others, such as my family. Like buying diapers instead of Jimmy Choo sandals. Like Susanna Wesley or George Müller.

Sweet! Now I'll have even more "ammunition" for those conversations with people who mean well...
"So, Laedelas, what do you plan on doing after graduation?"
"I'd really like to get married and have children."
"Oh, that's cute!" (said with a condescending smile) "How many do you want to have?"
"My childhood dream was to have twelve, but I'm not going to limit God."
"Whooooa, twelve! You'll definitely want to stop after your first! And besides, children are so expensive these days."
"Well, as I said, I'm not limiting God, so I'll take as many or as few blessings as he chooses to give. And I'm sure God will provide for his children."
...at this point, whoever I'm talking with will probably change the subject. They have in the past when the topic of large families surfaces. :-P

So, Future Self, when you're up late at night and reading blog archives while caring for a sick child or sleepless after a rough day, be encouraged. What you're doing is big and dramatic. Pray that God uses your sacrifices to serve himself.