27 August, 2009


I didn't know this could be so painful. The memories are making me woozy with tears. I am redefining myself; my childhood is tearing apart. It's not even the stuff. I can do without stuff. The people have become part of me. Saying "fare well" to live bodies is so much harder than saying "goodbye" to a corpse. They are mourning as well. I am not as important as I once thought.

I'm moving. I'll miss you. Regardless of who you are and where, our relationship is going to change and I'll miss the "old" you. What we had was good. I have faith that what we will have is better. Heaven will be best, because we will see our Savior face to face, together. At last. Completely whole, together. Thank you.

24 August, 2009

Boasting About Tomorrow

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
~ James 4:13-17
Today, as I drove home from a promising job interview, this verse proved to be poignantly true twice. God kept me alive for a reason...God, please help me to discern the right thing to do!

17 August, 2009

The Illumination of Scripture

Aiiee! So much to blog about...so many half-baked thoughts that I haven't translated to English yet! Ah, well. Since blogging last, I've failed to blog about Zambia, fractured my fibula, gotten violently ill, traveled to the Worship God 09 conference and bid "farewell" (of sorts) to an old friend. And did I mention that the Holy Spirit has been mightily at work? Allow me to share some of his workings...

Matthew 4:1-11
Two things can be observed through this passage: The behavior of Christ and of Satan.

  • Jesus was following the leading of the Spirit when he went to the wilderness and fasted.
  • Satan came uninvited.
  • Satan tempted Jesus in three ways:
  1. For natural provision (food)
  2. To test God’s promise (protection)
  3. His faithfulness to God
  • Jesus responded the same to all three temptations: With scripture.
  • Satan quoted scripture to Jesus as well, but Jesus responded with scripture that was in context.
  • Conclusion: Know Scripture! How can one wield a sword poorly forged?

Romans 7:7-25
"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ... Wretched [wo]man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." (v. 15, 24-25)
James 4:13-17
As I ponder my future and past and present, these verses are particularly poignant. Especially when placed next to some good Proverbs. One moment, I am despairing of ever moving forward. Another, I am tossed about on the winds of indecision. God is indeed my rock, refuge, and shelter.