07 May, 2008


I recently made some updates to the links I have on the sidebar of my blog, and I'd like to highlight them and why they're linked to my blog.

Da Ketter - I've known David Ketter for quite a while, and this blog is a collaborative work between him and several other godly young men. I've found lots of encouragement and challenging statements here.

Big Guy - New blog from a good friend who is dating a very close friend.

Melder of Words - Writer friend whose poetry I find stunning. Also, I enjoy his laugh.

Liberian Missionary - A friend who is evangelizing in Liberia with Samaritan's Purse. My prayers go with her!

Philly Teacher - The chronicles of a friend who is evangelizing and teaching in inner-city Philly.

Unconformed - the collaborative blog of several godly young women, one of whom I am privileged to call "friend."

[Former] Evil Editor - A "kindred spirit" who (I desperately hope) will be spending her summer with me. We have quite a colorful history together.

Boundless Webzine - This site is full of great perspectives on much that's relevant to my life.

Eco Geek . Org - Though it doesn't share my Christian perspective, this site is full of ways that I can preserve the earth God created, as well as cool tech projects that attempt to do the same.

Pray For Ian - I can't believe I didn't have this link up until now. A childhood friend of mine is dealing with serious brain damage after a car crash. Please pray for him.

The Uncultured Project - Rather than buying an Xbox 360, this grad student traveled to India to see what a difference his Xbox money could make. You think your little contribution won't help? IT WILL.

Good Bassist; Great Band - the blog of the bassist of my (current) favorite band, Mute Math.

06 May, 2008


My church is changing. You know, in The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe where everyone's whispering "Aslan's on the move!" My church has that feeling, only it's not Aslan, but the Holy Spirit. Thank you, God! My church has needed more of the Spirit! Yes, we're mostly Reformed, but we are certainly not cessationists.

God is so incredibly...um, indescribable? "Good" doesn't capture it. The concept of "goodness" is too small to apply to God. For the past few Sunday mornings God has astonished me more than the last time, which generally leaves me on my knees with a shaking soul and a joyful heart. It's cool. It's more than cool.

Last month, in addition to God greatly reducing my pain, he healed a two-year-old who was thought to have bone cancer in his hip. God has been giving my assistant pastor prophetic songs, which he performs on the piano. He's never performed on piano in his life. During several Sundays, my pastors felt lead to deviate from their sermon notes--for which I am very glad! You ought to go listen to the sermons. Last Sunday's sermon was particularly striking.

College Night was last month. Jeremy (the assistant pastor) did not have notes for the evening, just a handful of songs and fervent prayer for the Spirit to move. Nothing *spectacular* happened, though people were impacted. I was convicted that I haven't been treating my sin as harshly as I ought. However, as most people left, a handful of people were left sitting on the floor of the Church office, praying and singing and encouraging one another. It was a sweet time of ministry, and a memory I will carry for a very, very long time.

I should also mention that our church had a Church-wide fasting and prayer meeting. I'm humbled to say that, for the first time in my life, I fasted for a whole day. It was certainly not my strength that carried me through the day. Verse I meditated on while fasting:
Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart
Jeremiah 15:16
Why? 'Cos I was fasting, and wanted (still do) to feast on God's words while abstaining from food.

I am so excited to see what God will do for my church! Sunday has been the best day of the week for most of my life, but these Sundays have a certain element of surprise to them, an electric expectation to see God, to glorify him more, and fellowship with his Bride.

Souls Aren't Built of Stone

Perfection is unattainable. So, how close to perfection must one be?

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I desire a husband, a home, and children! I'm so sensitive to these desires I can't even listen to Amateur Lovers without pitying myself. It's sickening.
For the wicked boasts of the desires of his soul, and the one greedy for gain curses and renounces the Lord.
Of course I wouldn't make a perfect wife; I don't have the skills for that yet. But I'll never attain perfection, and I am not gifted for an entire life of singleness!
Arise, O Lord; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted.
If only my standards weren't so high! If only intimacy weren't so hard! Maybe this should change! Maybe I shouldn't ask myself to do the impossible!
Why does the wicked renounce God and say in his heart,
“You will not call to account”?
But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation,
that you may take it into your hands
I am not asking myself to do the impossible; God is.
Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer;
call his wickedness to account till you find none.
Asking God to lower his standards is a despicable idea. It is beyond language that describes filthy, undesirable actions. Yet I cannot refuse God's request.
O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear
Society does not value my strong commitment to these ideals. Daily I am assaulted by language, images, and attitudes that reject what I strive so hard to uphold. I feel like Job when he says:
My spirit is broken...
My days are past; my plans are broken off, the desires of my heart.
They make night into day: ‘The light,’ they say, ‘is near to the darkness.’
If I hope for Sheol as my house, if I make my bed in darkness,
If I say to the pit, ‘You are my father,’ and to the worm, ‘My mother,’ or ‘My sister,’
Where then is my hope? Who will see my hope?
Will it go down to the bars of Sheol? Shall we descend together into the dust?
Fellowship with Christians is helpful because I realize that there are those who also recognize and resist this clashing of culture with Christ. But I constantly fight against the potentiality of sin, even among Christian brothers!

I suppose this was my idea. School was supposed to be a mission field, so I refused to attend one that was full of students and ideals that claimed to be Christian. In some ways, I am very glad of this.
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.
Every time this ugly sin manages to seize my attention and appear so attractive, God gently, methodically, consistently brings my attention back to him.
Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.
EVERY TIME! God is faithful, and he's showing me what "faithfulness" is. This is so hard to comprehend. Sure, I could give you a dictionary description of the word, but the concept...God is giving me something to reference every time I think of the word "faithful," which makes it so much more meaningful.
Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.