Home Less

Today, I had the privilege of spending about an hour and a half with a homeless girl. I honestly can't remember her name, so I'm going to call her Carli. She and her friend were panhandling on one of the many steep roads that lead to my college campus. "Stranded!" their sign announced. And then more letters and something about being "...very hungry!" My heart flip flopped, and I pulled over.

I've been reading a book called Under the Overpass, which hasn't changed my views on homeless people, but has strongly encouraged me to put those views into practical application. My policy: I never approach homeless or panhandling men. When they approach me, I'm extremely cautious and never give them anything (except maybe the time of day or directions). I would love to change this policy, but experience has taught me that strangers, and especially male strangers, should not be trusted. Most of the homeless that I've seen are male, so my ability to minister to the homeless is frighteningly small. Ergo I've been praying that God might put me in the path of some homeless females.

Lo and behold, God answered my prayers today! Honestly, I drove around the block several times while wrestling with the duty that called. I had a purpose that didn't include these young women. I didn't know who they were, or what they were doing, or what they could do. A quick call to my mom confirmed that my purpose and questions were disposable, and this is the first time I've seen women panhandling in months. So, I parked and introduced myself to Carli and her friend. I offered a ride, and mentioned food. They jumped at the chance, deciding that Carli would come with me and her friend would watch their stuff and wait to meet Carli's boyfriend. So, my adventure began.

After blasting the heat in hopes that Carli would stop shivering, I drove all around Oakland looking for a parking spot. A grocery store was very close to where I picked her up, but had no parking, so we meandered around (and narrowly avoided crashing into a bus--not my fault!) for a long time, looking for a store with a parking lot. Giant Eagle appeared unexpectedly, and in we went. I told Carli to get whatever she wanted, and she kept her costs around $10, despite my offers of band-aids for her blisters and some purified water. Efficient shopper, that girl!

Throughout this trip, I learned that Carli was a native to this city, but left home at the age of 16 because there was no more home. Her father died, various family members fell ill...so she started drifting. She'd been to lots of places throughout the US, traveling on the Greyhound, which sounded cool to me. She and her friend were living under a bridge in a park near my school, and had made friends with the guy who lived under the other end of the bridge. Do I believe her story? Yes. Do I think she could be living in a more secure place, with a more secure future? Yes to the first part, no to the second. Surely her wanderlust had compounded problems that were already there, ergo her constant wandering and lack of resources. However, none of us have a secure future. If I were in her shoes, I can't say I'd make different choices.

This venture opened up so many possibilities. Forget that I never finished my shopping list. Forget that my wallet is $11 lighter and that I used a lot of gas while looking for a parking lot. Mostly what I'd like to do is learn how to help her more. Sure, what I did might have fed her and her friend for a bit, and the heat in the car felt good, and hopefully our conversation was uplifting, but is that really helping? She mentioned hanging out at a christian shelter called "Connections," but I can't find anything on the internet related to that. I'm really curious about the possibility of volunteering with some such place, though.

Regardless of what I feed her or can do for her physical needs, she needs one thing only: Salvation by Christ alone. Carli told me that she loves Jesus and wants to be like him, but despises organized religion. She went to a Catholic school as a child, and knew some interesting things about the Bible. "Revelations is is WEIRD, man," and "those books--some former generation decided what goes in the Bible and what stays out--how do we know that it's OK for us today?" were two notable quotes. I mentioned that my church was unaffiliated, but couldn't remember the word..."like, non-denominational?" she asked. She seemed cool with that idea, and suddenly changed her opinion and said she likes to go to church and be with people who love each other and love God. Hmm. I regret not asking her to come to my church, but I knew she'd be unable to get there and I won't be at church this coming Sunday, so I am praying that she goes to some church, or that Connections will provide some spiritual guidance, or that God somehow moves in her life so she realizes what she needs.

Why do I write such things? Not to say anything about myself or Carli, but so that you, my dear readers, might be encouraged to see God in this situation and in situations around you. I pray that you and I will be salt unto the earth, that you would see God at work around you, and that you would seek to be part of it.

Please pray with me for Carli, her friend, and her boyfriend.

Men = Kleenex?

(This was written in response to a paper I read for class, "Penguins Don't Care, but Women Do: A Social Identity Analysis" by Fatemeh Khosroshahl. I edited it slightly so you, dear readers, might understand it a bit more. Please, let me know what you think! Answer my questions!)

According to this article, men view the word "he" as something like a brand name that covers generic humans and men specifically in the same way that many people use the word "Kleenex" to refer to the brand and generic facial tissues. This analogy was good, but I was struck by the humorous images in my head. How does one picture generic humans, anyway? (UGH! Never mind...)

Perhaps we overuse pronouns, and just need to get more creative with English. Every phrase I can think of that needs a generic pronoun can be rephrased to not include pronouns and be more precise.
Examples:

1. "Somebody left his/her bike in the yard" --> "Somebody left a bike in the yard."
   
2. "Man, being a mammal, excretes milk for his young" --> "Humans, being mammals, excrete milk for their young."
   
3. "The average reader of this blog can afford his own car" --> "Average readers of this blog can afford their own cars" (Hopefully there's more than one reader, right? Even if you can't afford a car?).
   

Am I wrong? Can anyone think of phrases where using a singular generic pronoun is unavoidable?

Also, what about titles like "dude"? Historically, it referred to males, but in an appropriate context I use it to address both genders quite frequently and will respond to someone calling me a dude. Some of my friends have a problem with this, and ironically most who have voiced this opinion are male. I'd be curious to know how many people (and their age and gender) associate "dude" with the male gender.

Huh.

So, tonight Josh Harris taught me a bit about biblical masculinity & femininity, which is unfortunately a favorite sore spot of mine. Guys have to work at being biblically masculine! For years I've been resisting the traditional view of women, because it is supressive and certainly not complementarian (to clarify--personal views may not reflect this, but historically women have been denied many opportunities for growth and been put down by the men who claim to love them best). However, there are men out there who are also fighting this traditional view, even at the cost of their own comfort and status. I don't know why I didn't realize this before. No, actually--I do know. I was too proud of my "victim" status, of having to resist guys' attempts to control me and how I express my femininity. Viewing myself as a student, not a victim, would seem to encourage learning and friendship more, rather than getting upset when people try to change my mind and press me into a traditional female mold.

Thank you, Lord, for your grace in this area! I've been praying for relief, and though you are graciously allowing me to work through things logically, you also sustain me under temptation.

Challenging women

Rarely do I browse through the Desiring God ministry's blog, but today I did and happened upon an article titled "A Challenge To Women" by John Piper. I thought this might be beneficial, so I read it while listening to a message by John Piper. I really liked how point # 6 encouraged women to be deep thinkers of theology and understand God's grace, point # 7 encouraged us to capture every moment for God's work, and point # 13 advocated a "wartime mentality." :-) I disagreed with some points, although Jon corrected me for disliking point # 3 by quoting 1 Peter 2:12.

However, as I got farther down the list, it seemed to be rather paternalistic. Point # 11 gets under my skin-it's not expressly written for mothers, but it seems to be applied specifically for child-rearing women. Should I consider this, then? Because, frankly, when looking at the lady in Proverbs 31, having a job can be anything but deleterious. Also, when Piper wrote the extensive list of ministries that a woman can participate in, I was slightly miffed. Round-a-bout the "Sports ministries" listing, however, I realized that most of these were areas that anyone (regardless of sex) could participate in. I also realized that many of them could be paying jobs within the government. Which brings up another question.

Couldn't I work in an organization like the government, fulfill their secular requirements, and still be working for God? I'm thinking specifically of my signing skills and the contact with the Deaf community that I hope to have some day. Theoretically, yes. However, when I look closer at such a situation, I doubt it. The role I want to play as God's ambassador while fulfilling someone's physical need should be a ministry through the church, not the government. I often get upset when I see the government picking up the church's slack in ministry, and doing a horrible job at it. So, I've come to the conclusion that a job may pay the bills and still be a ministry while fulfilling secular requirements, but the minute God blesses me with a provider (read: husband), I must invest in volunteering my skills and time--perhaps in the same capacity, but with financial freedom.

This list is not paternalistic. Nor does it seem to condemn my current situation or future goals. It is most certainly written by a human, and not the Word of God, ergo it is fallible. It did challenge my motivations, however, and that is hardly a bad thing. Much thanks to John Piper for stimulating my mind once again!

In other news, Goldilox by King's X (an '80's Christian band) has become my anthem of the past weeks.