19 November, 2009

Small Epiphanies

"Truly, I have brought you low, in order that I may lift you up."
On Saturday I attended a recruiting event for Wycliffe Bible Translators, and found lots to love. While driving home the gravity of the opportunity came to bear on my heart. Should I leave (for two years? Five? Thirty?), I'd give up so much. Relationships would change in even more significant ways than they have since my last relocation. I'd give up my self-sufficient pride; in order to do this, I'd need to live off of the generosity of friends and supporters. I'd give up the opportunity to dance with a ministry I love. The weight of such things (most of them good gifts of God) began to pull me away from my desire for ministry. For the first time in memory, I wanted a "normal" life. I didn't even consider how I might minister here; I just wanted comfort. I knew it was wrong, and prayed for sanctification.

Wednesday was the worst day yet at my new job. Working overtime is fine, except when you've been working long hours for weeks, and your bosses are overstressed and show it, and your faults are not handled gracefully. A flicker of a thought came to mind...if I joined Wycliffe, I could escape this pressure cooker. I knew this thought was preposterous.

If I join Wycliffe and water the seeds that others have planted, it will be by God's grace alone. I cannot be motivated by comfort, or escapism, or a sense of adventure. I have a Commission, and it is calling me toward Wycliffe. I may not join or go overseas, and if I do it won't be for a while, but I am called. What can I do but follow?


Author at 661 said...

oh my friend -

I could see God using you in beautiful ways with Wycliffe... I have since you first mentioned the idea.

I will be praying that you know peace and comfort where God has you now... and that, using your current circumstances, He continues His work in you by building hope and faith for all that is to come.

Just today, I was thinking, I was thinking of you specifically with the question, how is dance going?

And ah! I just clicked on the website - are you dancing in the Christmas show? doing sound? I would SO love to make plans to come see!

in His love.

John Q said...

Big epiphanies! :)

Praying for you!



Laedelas Greenleaf said...

Lane~ Thank you so much for the encouragement! Dance is going fantastically-I will be doing sound for the Christmas show and will be performing in the June show. Come to both! :-) E-mail me for details.
Pops~ I love you :-)

Lisa said...

What would you be doing specifically with this organization? Have you talked with people? Where would you go? Would there be a church? Would you be by yourself?

Laedelas Greenleaf said...

Lisa~ I want to translate the Bible into signed languages. Yes. I don't know X 3 :-) I miss you!

Clear Ambassador said...

Good to hear a bit of how things are going for you. I'll have to give you a call some time. We didn't get a chance to actually catch up today!