Bluesy Christmas

Desiring God recently published an article about Post-Christmas Melancholy that I enjoyed, even though my Christmas was far from melancholy. Maybe you will too? :-)

I'm So Excited!

EEEK! How will I be able to wait until 2011 for THIS? *sighs of rapture*

As The Ruin Falls

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.

~ Clive Staples Lewis

This is the poem my dad referenced in his comment on my post previous. Thanks, Pop :-)

Epiphany 2.0

Yesterday I had a nice long chat with my pastor and his wife about Wycliffe Bible Translators. It was humbling and effective. I wanted to hear that I was perfect for the role and should continue in my happy way, but they probed deeper than I thought and shone light on potential problems I'd not anticipated.

Today I realized I needed to take my mind off the trivial stresses I'm currently experiencing and realize there is something beyond me that I cannot fix because Jesus is the only One who can. Rather than watching Batman Begins again, I read Called To Die by Steve Estes. It's a biography of Chet Bitterman, a linguist who worked for Wycliffe and died because of his work translating the Bible. I'm on page 116, and the thought hit me; Can I be motivated for work as a Wycliffe linguist? Jeff and Jo Smothermom (whose stories I was reading) were translating when asked to serve WBT in supportive roles. They hesitated because of their passion for the people for whom they worked. I'd be happy to serve, but could I serve as wholeheartedly and specifically as they? My pastor asked me why I wanted to translate, and the answer I gave was "so I could glorify God and enjoy him forever." Not incorrect, but way too prescripted. I am not motivated to study and fundraise for months before knowing the people for whom I'd be translating.

Dear God, please give me patience on this journey. Give me faces to identify, souls to reach, a culture to learn and a community to become part of so that I may glorify you and, with the help of the Spirit, to illumine the Scriptures to those unreached.