I'm So Excited!

EEEK! How will I be able to wait until 2011 for THIS? *sighs of rapture*

Conversations

Sometimes, conversations take place over extended periods of time. Tonight, I just continued one such conversation with an artist I admire greatly, Makoto Fujimura. If you have the inclination, feel free to peruse his side of our most recent conversation. My side will (hopefully) begin in a few days, but first I have lots to think about. My company recently threw out quite a few canvases that my roommates and I rescued. I've covered half a dozen in gesso, and they wait in the basement for a creative mind and some paint. I plan to begin by recreating a horridly constructed painting of mine from high school, a sunset, because it will allow me to brush up (ha, ha...) on my painting techniques and the color wheel. After that, I hope to take a sketch I created about spiritual warfare and paint that. Mako's discussion of Rouault's spirituality has stirred up those ideas regarding art and faith which I love so much. My artwork will benefit as a result.

More Artists

Three blog posts in one day?! I know...I'm making up for lost time (I think). These artists use geometric patterns in their work, and I find it amusing, inspiring, and curious. I found them via Joanne Mattera's blog

Composition 69 by Julie Karabenick

The Primrose Path by Steven Alexander

Why do I find such things interesting? The color placement, mostly. The way the colors interact. The ways the shapes interact. It's not always the idea behind a painting that makes it fascinating to me. In fact, it is rarely the subject of a painting that I find interesting, but the subliminal inferrations (yes, I just invented a word) and the techniques the artist used to depict the subject.

...Time Flies Like A Banana

Terry @ Bent Objects makes me laugh. Most of the time.

Consuming Art

Jeff Baldwin, in a course of lectures at Worldview Academy, explained to me that art has two components: Content and Form. What does one do with art that has exquisite form but awful content? One of my favorite quotes about art comes from a Spanish designer:

Creation continues incessantly through the media of man. But man does not create...he discovers. Those who look for the laws of Nature as a support for their new works collaborate with the creator. Copiers do not collaborate. Because of this, originality consists in returning to the origin.
~Antonio Gaudi

But, as Melkor did in The Silmarillion, some artists return to an impossible origin. What then? Obviously, participating in this art will result in disturbed thoughts and a faltering soul.

But can I not participate to some degree, and glean what I might find useful?

What if I enjoy this art? Does God forbid it?

God forbids many things that are deemed "good" if they are in the wrong context.

Edit: While perusing I Corinthians 15 in response to a friend's post, I read verses 33 and 34:

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame.
~I Corinthians 15: 33-34

Hope

When we cease to seek a world that ought to be, and stop using our imaginative capacities generatively, we have forfeited our capacity to hope, and re-create. In this sense, recreation, even the leisure of fishing, points to re-creation, our central task of rebuilding a broken universe. If a trout, or other enchanted creatures of nature, cannot be allowed to inhabit our urban world, swimming against the currents of the economy and flowing into the currents of cultural production, we have already closed the door to the generative reality, making the re-humanization of our world unattainable.
~Makoto Fujimura

Sometimes, artists use words instead of paint. I would like to be in the business of hoping, as Mako is.

It's the Late, Late--I mean, Really Early Show!

Yes, yes...it's 4 AM and I cannot sleep. Methods I've tried tonight:

1. Staring at the ceiling
2. Staring at the insides of my eyelids
3. Listening to music in my head
4. Praying (I lack the discipline to pray for 4 straight hours)
5. Reading
6. Sketching

The painting in the post below has my artistic mind churning. I tried to sketch a sunset resembling Munch's, with some of my own technique, but couldn't figure out how to make the sunrays and the waves interact. So then I got out some color, hoping that would help...but I think pastel is the wrong media for such a blatant image. Too soft. Also, I should get/make a blending pencil. Some day.

I'm kinda concerned that I can't sleep. College fencing practice is tomorrow, and I'd really like to go, but after that I have set-up for church (it's in a different location, ergo the Saturday set-up) and then 4 hours of work. I've been doing nothing all week due to illness, so I'm concerned that no sleep + fencing + set up + work could equal a sicker Elf come Sunday morning. Sigh. And I already didn't go to practice on Thursday because I didn't feel good.

Oh wow! I haven't blogged about the tournament last weekend yet! Well, then, here's the report.

The weekend was a smashing success. My fears about what could happen when a bunch of college students rent some hotel rooms for a weekend were unfounded, at least for the night I spent with them. Thank God! I fenced the best I ever have in my life, which is remarkable because by 2 PM I was a metabolic mess. I had failed to carbo-load the day before the tournament, so after a few hours of fencing my body had no more energy to give my muscles or my brain. Ergo I could have won the bronze medal match for my team, but failed by one point. I tracked my performance, and won 7 bouts in a row before crashing...maybe next time I'll be able to extend that streak by planning better. Ah well. 4th place out of 20 colleges ain't bad, and we even got medals! So now I can say I medalled in a collegiate fencing conference :-)

The girls fenced the first day and the guys fenced the day afterward, so for the day that I was fencing I had a wonderful support group of guys from the team. Will was our main coach, and did a fantastic job. If he weren't so keen on leaving my city I'd ask him to join my coaching staff. Josh, who is planning to get his Master's degree in fencing (ack! So jealous), helped me with doing specific drills for some of my opponents, and tried to get me to fence smarter :-P Maybe I should ask him to join my staff...

Why did I fence so much better that weekend than other tournaments? The team aspect made a huge difference to me--I'm used to it because of high school. Individual bouts were better because I was not trying to analyze every scrap of information I could. Apparently I fence better when I'm slightly spaced out! By the end of the day I was pretty giddy and probably annoyed a lot of my teammates. Oops. Being sick didnt help that.

A note on some teams...our first match was against Swarthmore College, our hosts. None of us had warmed up (BAD idea), so we lost miserably. But we finished way ahead of them in the standings. Huh. Navy had a team there...and I was like "oh these girls should be fun to beat," expecting them to be all hardcore etc. Nope. Not so much as a fleche out of them. (PS I scored on fleches a lot! Weird.) William & Mary's team looked like they could all be relatives...after our match, one of their girls asked me if I spoke Icelandic. I don't, but told her I was a linguistics major, which made her explode in joy. Rather funny to watch someone else have reactions that I usually have :-) We had beaten Florida earlier in the day, but they beat us in the bronze medal match. Both matches were won or lost by one bout. They were a frustrating team to fence, but it was good fencing.

Also, I found a magic weapon. Well, ok, it wasn't magical, but the grip (large Belgian) fit my hand remarkably well, and though the blade had several weak spots (I prayed it wouldn't break on any of my opponents), it was light enough that the weight of the weapon was pretty far toward my hand. Yay! It's a lot easier to fence with lighter weapons and/or weapons that are weighted toward the hand. I was borrowing this particular weapon from Alex, because all of my weapons failed. Jason fixed one of my weapons and fell in love with it (it has a German grip and really flexible blade), so I told him I'd trade it for Alex's weapon (named Lucille). Maybe I should show up at practice tomorrow, if only to see if Jason got that worked out with Alex!

With that, I think I'm going to try this novel thing they call "sleeping."

Edvard Munch

Images move me. This particular image I found because of the D'arte Board.

The Sun by Edvard Munch

I could stare at this painting for a long time and still be learning. Agh! This is why they say a picture is worth a thousand words...I can't really describe to you why I appreciate it. Edvard Munch used "blood" a lot to describe the substance of a sunset, and he got it here. It's elegantly violent, what with the water and rocks and shooting red/blue/yellow rays. And then the ring pattern around the sun. Some day I would like to get a large poster version of this and hang it in my studio space.

Please, please tell me you recognize this artist. Recently his most famous painting was stolen and damaged by the thieves. The news made me sick to my stomach.

Images move me.

If This Doesn't Make Sense, It's Vincent's Fault...

I've come to the sudden conclusion that it's hard to be idealistic about one's work. If I went into an art field, it would have something to do with the visual arts, but I've been afraid to follow this path because I'm idealistic about what and how I would create art. And yet, I love music but don't claim to be a musician. I am an instrumentalist, yes. I know how to play the violin and can produce good notes (with exception, of course). But I don't know music, and cannot produce good original music (I may be able to jam, but only because I've studied Sevcek's variations). So it's much easier to be idealistic about the kind of music I enjoy than the kind of art I create. After all, if my next meal would depend on the the shape of pot I throw, I'd certainly throw something that would sell, not necessarily the shape I want to throw (though hopefully I'd get to do that, too). There are careers to which this doesn't apply. I hope CPAs aren't not idealistic about their work...the idea is to have integrity, after all.

I love studying the interaction between the visual and the auditory art spheres.

Insane Artist

Poor Vincent. Except for the mental illness (I haven't been diagnosed with anything...yet :-P) I identify with van Gogh quite a bit. His early thoughts on art and its relationship to God resonate with me, though later in life he rejected Christianity. In my studies, I found a cool quote I wanted to remember. I don't necessarily agree with it, but it makes one think...

Many people think that they will become good just by doing no harm--but that's a lie...that way lies stagnation, mediocrity.

Just slap anything on when you see a blank canvas staring at you like some imbecile. You don't know how paralyzing that is, that stare of a blank canvas, which says to the painter: you can't do a thing. The canvas has an idiotic stare and mesmerizes some painters so much that they turn into idiots themselves. Many painters are afraid in front of the blank canvas, but the blank canvas is afraid of the real, passionate painter who dares and who has broken the spell of "you can't" once and for all.
~Vincent van Gogh, in a letter to his brother "Theo" in October 1884

After reading that, and looking at van Gogh's work...doesn't it make sense that he was a great artist? So much passion and opinion! And yet, it makes sense that he was crazy...too much passion and opinion!

And yet, he has a good point. This is an excellent metaphor for life...don't just sit there and be afraid of time and the future! It's scary when one is making huge decisions about life. But don't just sit there and do nothing...take risks! Don't let fear keep you from not doing. Don't define yourself by what you don't do or can't do. With God, all things are possible!

Art Store

Wow. I've been kicking around the idea of selling art online, but didn't know where. So I've also been kicking around the idea of starting an online business. Since then I've learned a lot about online businesses, but I don't know if my idea will work all that well...because I found my idea. It's called Etsy.com, and I love it. I may be putting my own stuff up there, but I found a cool bowl, the London skyline, an abstract painting, a sweet ring, ooh, and here's another, a leather journal, and--OH! Check out the sweet design on this search page! Cool place to get ideas and spend dough :-P I think I may try to get Laedelas' name there...

In other news, I just saw a sweet design for a dress. It was a satin...wrap, almost, with a tulle skirt underneath. The satin was a closely tailored, asymmetrical tunic, and the tulle was full and had sparkly stuff embroidered in it. Sweet!

The Night The Elf Turned Emo

Apparently, folks, elves can and will become emo. This weekend has been a defined trough in my emotional state. Despite many things. I have the suspicion this is because of vitamin deficiency, but we'll find out. Regardless, it doesn't justify the angry behavior I've had for a few days. Tonight, after finishing my taxes (ironically), I began to think about the spiritual aspect of being depressed. I've started to realize I get depressed when I'm very inactive (like what happened in January of this year), which is usually the result of sickness or injury. But I think I've also been depressed because I have devoted 0% of my time to God.

Duh, Laedelas. "Cut" by Plumb started to play on iTunes tonight, and I was astonished. First of all, because I didn't know this song was on my playlist. Second, because (except for the physical violence) the song described a lot of my emotions. The second verse "hit the spot," so to speak. I began to think about the implications of my depression, because I was relishing it. The phrase "crippled anger" humbled me. I am God's, am I not? Why should I be drowning myself in my sin?

Then I got emo. Because of the pirate party (post is upcoming), I had bought two pencils of black eyeliner at the $1 store. I hadn't used it at the party, but it came in handy tonight. I used them on paper, though, not skin. I hashed through my emotions in art, which I haven't done in a long time. The creative forces hammered at my mind in ways they haven't for years. I ended up with 6 pictures, and I cheated 'cos I used a stick of bright red pastel.

I must say, eyeliner pencils are great for drawing, they just need to be sharpened constantly.
I went through one and a half pencils. Maybe some day I'll scan the pictures and describe their meaning.

#1: Condemnation
This describes how I feel when I'm depressed. There's a bottomless pit of black, heavy air, and I'm chained to prevent resistance. The descent is painful and inevitable. Thus the wild black scribblings. If this picture had an accompanying music clip, it would be screaming.

#2: Resignation.
I drew this, describing how I wallowed in my depression and gave myself to my sin. After I finished, I realized what I was doing, and drew a thick line through it with the word "no!" at the end of the line. I didn't want to rest here in any sense.

#3: Redemption.
This one shows a red hand, reaching toward my hands, and the chains pulling apart. The shading didn't exactly turn out, but it looks explosive. That's the point.

#4: Redemption part I:
The title should have been "Justification," but I think I was so happy about the redemptive picture that I forgot. The girl is dressed in white, with arms stretched out, twirling in the black air. Her heart is red, showing vivacity. This picture shows two ideas: Freedom and life.

#5: Redemption part II:
A white hand holds the broken chains and is surrounded by a haze of red. The red haze and the blurriness of "Redemption" is meant to show pain. This hand, the hand of God, took my chains and owned them. This is why it's justification...I am now free, dressed in white, with a new life, and God has paid for the change with his own life and comfort. His pain is my gain.

#6: Sanctification.
The girl, dressed in white, still has a red heart. She is still standing in the black air, but sees a solid, real way out of it. This is represented by the straight line. It's hazy on one side, still, because the way is narrow, like the edge of a knife. She must walk this line, which Christ laid down, to become more like him and lose the darkness.

Christian Art

Why does it seem that Christian art must be separate from "normal" art? I've found a model for my artistic ideals in the man named Makoto Fujimura. Of course, I realize he's human, and therefore fallible. But I wanted to point out what he is doing with his art and encourage others to look for the same. If his name sounds familiar, that's because WORLD magazine voted him as "Daniel of the Year" in 2005.