Nerd

OK, I'm a linguistics nerd. But I thought this was hilarious regardless of one's education (excepting a good knowledge of English).

Linguistic humor, Who's on first, updated for the 21st century

Click here for the immortal original.

Abbott:	Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?
Costello:	Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
Abbott:	Mac?
Costello:	No, the name is Bud.
Abbott:	Your computer?
Costello:	I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott:	Mac?
Costello:	I told you, my name is Bud.
Abbott:	What about Windows?
Costello:	Why? Does it get stuffy?
Abbott:	Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello:	I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
Abbott:	Wallpaper.
Costello:	Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott:	Software that runs on Windows?
Costello:	No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business. What have you got?
Abbott:	Office.
Costello:	Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott:	I just did.
Costello:	You just did what?
Abbott:	Recommend something.
Costello:	You recommended something?
Abbott:	Yes.
Costello:	For my office?
Abbott:	Yes.
Costello:	Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott:	Office.
Costello:	Yes, for my office.
Abbott:	Office for Windows.
Costello:	I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott:	Word.
Costello:	If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words. But what program do I load?
Abbott:	Word.
Costello:	What word?
Abbott:	The Word in Office.
Costello:	The only word in "office" is "office."
Abbott:	The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello:	Which word in "office for windows"?
Abbott:	The Word you get when you click the blue W.
Costello:	I'm going to click your big blue W if you don't give me a straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
Abbott:	RealOne.
Costello:	Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. But what do I need to watch it?
Abbott:	RealOne.
Costello:	If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two, three, and four. Can I watch reel four?
Abbott:	Of course.
Costello:	Great! With what?
Abbott:	RealOne.
Costello:	Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbott:	You click the blue 1.
Costello:	I click the blue one what?
Abbott:	The blue 1.
Costello:	Is that different from the blue W?
Abbott:	Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
Costello:	What word?
Abbott:	The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello:	But there are three words in "office for windows"!
Abbott:	No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
Costello:	It is?
Abbott:	Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
Costello:	And that word is the real one?
Abbott:	No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of Office.
Costello:	Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again. But I also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you have to help me track my money?
Abbott:	Money.
Costello:	That's right... What do you have?
Abbott:	Money.
Costello:	I need money to track my money?
Abbott:	Money.
Costello:	Money comes bundled with my computer?
Abbott:	Exactly. No extra charge.
Costello:	I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra charge? How much money do I get?
Abbott:	Just one copy.
Costello:	I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
Abbott:	No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
Costello:	Microsoft can license you to make money?
Abbott:	Why not? They own it.
Costello:	Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll still need to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?
Abbott:	Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
Costello:	Well, what do you sell in its place?
Abbott:	Money.
Costello:	You sell money?
Abbott:	Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for free.
Costello:	That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business. Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?
Abbott:	Simply Accounting.
Costello:	Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
Abbott:	If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
Costello:	M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
Abbott:	Mind Your Own Business.
Costello:	I beg your pardon?
Abbott:	No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
Costello:	Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home business. You know-accounting? You do it with money.
Abbott:	Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need more.
Costello:	More money?
Abbott:	More than Money. Money can't do everything.
Costello:	I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for the moment. I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word? Crash. And if my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
Abbott:	GoBack.
Costello:	Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I need something to restore my data. What do you recommend?
Abbott:	GoBack.
Costello:	How many times do I have to repeat myself?
Abbott:	I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was GoBack.
Costello:	How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay, I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?
Abbott:	Word.
Costello:	But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
Abbott:	No, you only need one Word - the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello:	But there's three words in... Oh, never mind. *click*
Abbott:	Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well.