What a cool worship-from-a-love song!

I heard this song on WYEP by Liz Phair, and loved it. The artist's image seems to be less than wholesome (I wouldn't suggest her music videos or most of her songs), but some of her songs are startlingly uplifting. This particular song, called Giving It All To You reminded me of a worship song. Another of her songs, Polyester Bride, reminded me of my own efforts to resist temptation.

My favorite lines from "Giving":

Everytime I see you you just blow my mind
...
And I reach out trusting you there
Its like walking on a high wire into thin air
...
And I know that there's one thing
Between me and nothing
Baby, you are that one thing that pulls me through
So I'm giving it all to you

Jurassic Park

Ensconced in a tropical beach, I breathed in the lush scents of the rainforest, leaning back against rough tree bark. A lizard, about a foot high, came into view. Curious, I looked up. It was strutting like a chicken on its hind legs, and chirping. Then I noticed the white sky fading into grey tree branches which faded into dull brown land. It was snowing. Gradually I felt the gentle ocean waves melt into the rocking of trolley wheels. Surprised, I felt the tree bark disappear and an upholstered metal chair materialized under me. I shook my head, almost disbelieving my senses, and bent down again. Closing my eyes, I cringed from the smell of alkaline dust, and awoke in a Montana desert, surrounded by Blackhawk teepees and a paleontological dig site.

I am disregarding the advice of a good friend, and reading "Jurassic Park" before I watch the movie. The first 40 pages are brilliant. We shall see how the book progresses.

Dahntahn

This is pretty much the awesomest ever! It'd be fun to organize for my city: A PILLOWFIGHT!

Kart-ing around

Woohoo! I just had my first trip driving a go-kart! It was really, really cold. But fun, nonetheless. My friends were telling the truth when they said that 10 mph feels fast when the ground is less than 5 inches below one's derriere. Controlling that thing makes me feel powerful. The shaking engine sounds like a delicate objet d'art that I can almost crush and enjoy the process. It's so fun to give it enough gas to keep it turning over yet not go forward (would this be manual idling?), then roar off in a cloud of dust and try to avoid tearing up the grass.

I believe the machine was built for someone with a smaller frame, since my head stuck out between the bars of the roll cage. I was afraid to see if I could launch the thing into the air since the cage seems somewhat unstable. The left front tire isn't quite on its rim, making steering tight turns somewhat of a joke. Aaah, the sweet taste of driving on the edge of safety, peering into the face of danger.

My hair smells like gasoline now.

Did you know...?

Today in my Science Fiction class I learned that there was such a thing as a Hype Curve (or cycle, or graph, or whatever you want to call it). My professors likened it to Pilgrim's Progress; there's the Technological Trigger, the Peak of Inflated Expectations, the Trough of Disillusionment, the Slope of Enlightenment, and the Plateau of Productivity. I bet you never knew SciFi could be so interesting, now, did you?!? Seriously, though, that class is really good. Where else can we turn from analyzing the soundtrack of Jurassic Park to FEMA's performance after Hurricane Katrina to the U.S. Navy? Actually, all three of those are tied together by information technology. A soundtrack lets the audience know when the plot gets exciting. FEMA is a good example of poor managerial decisions. The U.S. Navy has experienced many disasters, and has successfully recovered and learned from those experiences and can prevent them. Now I can understand more of the story when I read "Down And Out on Ellfive Prime" by Dean Ing.

Today in my other class (Linguistics), I decided that the material is quite fascinating. The professor, however, is not. I made up a sentence: I hit Nate with a pillow because it was a very late night and I was tired. That sentence, my friend, contains an agent, a patient, an instrument, a theme, and an experiencer. It's so exciting! And I get to be both the agent and the experiencer! (Sorry, Nate, I couldn't figure out how to give you two Theta Roles also.)

The Olympics

Photo from NBC

Huzzah! My favorite ice dancing team won the silver! Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto are the second pair of American skaters to ever win an ice dancing medal at the Olympics. Why do I like ice dancing, and that pair in particular? Because ice dancing is much more enmeshed in the music than normal skating. It is art. It is how I would like to skate, and I enjoy watching it. It is not a display of technical ability or knowledge as much as it is a showcase of human emotion. I love it!

St. Valentine is no longer honored by the Catholic Church

Please beware, raw human emotion is being expressed in the form of letters...(Picture from Charlie O'Shields)

Cupid's poison has seeped from his arrow-tips into my blood. I cannot shake this feeling of desperate romance. How can I resist? Am I not human? I can but pace my floor and cry out for a distraction.

Can God be glorified in such tortured devotion as this? I try to rid myself of human essence so that I may uphold his honor and glory. Is it not all for him? But could he really ask me to deny who he made me to be?

Please understand, I am not trying to rebel against God's wonderful, perfect plan. The fact that I am struck with this need does not change anything about God. He is as amazing and all-knowing as he was the night that I wept because of his holiness. Here is another chance for me to humble myself and learn yet another aspect of his character. He meets all my needs or disproves them. This is my chance to learn how.

Oh, here they come
Though I'm not be afraid
There's no temptation
I can't evade...
I'm dead to sin like some kind of zombie...
I gave my life away.
(Audio Adrenaline, "Some Kind of Zombie")

God, I know that your grace is all-sufficient. Thank you for your amazing love! I know that I will never be alone or needy for ever because of you. Help me to rest in your grace and be patient until you reveal miracles that will cause me to worship you yet more. Show me how I might glorify you through this experience!

Beautiful Savior

It is amazing how God has designed the human mind. Knowing the unique situation and temptations that a specific friend is struggling with drove me to such deep worship on Thursday night. Praying for him and his circumstances led me to weeping, prostrate on my floor simply because God was holy. All thought was swept away except God's holiness. Time was no longer a consideration. Oh! Sweet, sweet moment. I hope more come, and that my friend will soon be able to experience such moments, as well. Now I begin to see the purpose of prayer. It is worship. I feel so selfish when I pray for this friend, because I remember that moment and am driven to seek more moments. Yet, I know that God's purpose will be served through all of it, and my friend will also be sanctified because of this process.

Does anyone know of good books about grace and the cross? I'd appreciate suggestions.

$$$$$$$

On Friday night, I focused my "90 second update" at Caregroup on money and how my spending applies to the Gospel (can I really afford that trip to Europe in light of the Gospel?). I just found an excellent sermon from Josh Harris called Affluenza Pt. 1: The Disease of Greed. I would suggest it to anyone, and hope to continue following the series.

This is making me want to attend New Attitude for more than just the close fellowship.

My Campus

I just realized that I love my school's campus. I may not like school terribly, but there are benefits. I have classes in an old, Gothic structure that's the tallest university building in the world. (http://www.wqed.org/erc/pghist/units/folks/oakland_tour02.shtml) When I'm done with classes, I can walk a block away from that building and see the Carnegie Music Hall, the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Schenley Park, Phipps Conservatory, and the best library I have ever been in yet. Besides, of course, the proliferous structures of my own university.

I adore the library. I love the Diplodocus carnegii sculpture by Forbes Avenue, reminding me where the entrance to the library is, since he's almost looking at it. (http://www.wqed.org/erc/pghist/units/folks/oakland_tour02.shtml) Apparently, even "prehistoric" animals had sports affiliations-I noticed a black and gold scarf wrapped around that elegant neck of his as I walked past.

Greeting me at the library's glass doors are large stone letters, raised from the stone face of the building, proclaiming, "FREE TO THE PUBLIC". My gaze is then drawn to the names of authors and scientists and explorers engraved on the eaves of the building, in the Roman fashion of course. (http://www.epodunk.com/top10/misspelled/) Though the towers were torn down long ago, this old building holds memories and wonders too numerous to mention. The famous twin stairwells to either side of the entrance are so old that the steps are uneven due to constant use. The Children's department has a new display dedicated to "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" with a three-dimensional wardrobe with a real lamp-post inside. I notice on the map the Pennsylvania department, where I spent hours researching my father's family.

I love that place.

The weather still continues charming

Oh! What a delightful time I had this weekend. Charming, in fact. Positively charming. I only wish I could share it with more friends. I implore you all, go visit the O'Reilly Theater soon and see "The Importance of Being Earnest", by all means! 'Twas truly a fantastic play in all respects. Actually, I intend to see it again with my parents (and friends? You're welcome to come) before it is finished running. I found nothing inappropriate, and everything to commend it by.

What a catharsis! And how easy it was for me to fall under the sway of the actors' convincing vicarious emotions. I was completely convinced that the characters were real until I saw Jack's real life counterpart standing in jeans and a sweatshirt, talking to a patron.

Even reading the script brings forth laughter, but the actors delivered their lines in a precise, Victorian manner, it was positively thrilling. And when slight mishaps occurred (the floor seemed to be slippery at one point), the actors rebounded well. It was so nice to applaud or laugh after a particularly excellent moment and see the actors graciously accepting the interaction, instead of pretending it wasn't there or trying to speak over our applause.

The scenery was all black and white. It was a tad distracting at first, especially the black topiaries in the "garden" scene, but it produced an interesting contrast with the characters who were dressed in quite colorful and complex costumes. Cecily's dress was positively dreamy.

The theatrical conventions were absolutely charming! Footmen and butlers as stagehands! How convenient. I want a butler for my birthday!! :-)

Oscar Wilde's imaginative mind combined with the charming acting and the superb costumes and scenery gave me so many laughs and thrills, it was quite amazing. I lost hope of ever remembering significant quotes to use later on unsuspecting victims. But here is a brief slice of the humor:
(Jack). "Gwendolen, it is a terrible thing for a man to find out suddenly that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth. Can you forgive me?"
(Gwendolen). "I can. For I feel that you are sure to change."

I was accused of "fondling" the pages of my book

"The right of conquest...is the only right that receives respect since it is the only one that makes itself respected. The sole and proud origin of property is force. It is born and preserved by force. In that it is august and yields only to a greater force. This is why it is correct to say that he who posseses is noble." (the monk Bulloch, in "Penguin Island" by Anatole France)

Ouch. How accurately those sentences describe my feelings about my "things." And, yet, that is also how I treat my "rights." Do I not fight for the right to keep my room private when my siblings enter, unannounced? Do I not violate the "rights" of others if they say or do nothing to counteract my violations? Once again, I am convicted of belligerence.

Ha ha.

Ha ha ha. I found out today that my preference for Trax Farms apples is considered unusual in the retail market. Oh my.

We discussed online retail today in my SciFi class, specifically applying to groceries and how online grocery stores aren't quite a big hit. One of the articles we were (supposed) to read was written in 1969, describing a woman who spent 10 minutes in front of her TV looking at pictures of groceries and pushing buttons to order the items. Hm. Sounds like online shopping to me...creepy, isn't it, that the Harvard Business Magazine was predicting in '69 what we can experience today? I enjoyed the discussion, though my prof said I was an "outlier" :-P.

*sigh* I have to watch "Jurassic Park" for this class. How boring is that? *tsk* (yeah, I'm reading the book, too)

Hmm....

Haha! I just realized something. For all of you that don't know, iChat (the Apple software for AIM, Jabber, etc.) will allow users to display an "available" message. I often set my "available" message to the song I'm currently playing in iTunes. One of my friends signed on recently, and I noticed that my music selection may or may not be good music in that friend's opinion. I briefly considered choosing a different artist. How silly I am! I shake my head at my silliness.


Perhaps this post was silly.

End of the Spear

I read about this movie briefly in WORLD magazine this morning (or was it afternoon? Today was my sleep-in day, so I'm not sure.) This story has always aroused a conflict in my heart. Today that conflict may have been resolved.

Why did those five missionaries face certain death when they had young families that needed to be supported? I admired their martyrdom, of course, but I didn't understand. Doesn't the Bible say that it is better for a man to remain unmarried so he could continue in ministry without the burden of wife and child? Why, then, if they already formed the commitment to family, did they continue in their plans? I also didn't understand how these wives and their children could continue reaching out toward a people that had killed their husbands. Yes, of course, it's forgiveness, but it's forgiveness that I don't have.

I realized today, however, the importance of the Gospel to these men and their families. Sacrificing anything for the Gospel is so worth it. If God had been leading these men, then there was absolutely no commitment that could hold them back. And nothing should have held them back. I realized today that, when/if I ever make the commitment of lifelong marriage to one man, I need to be willing to turn away from that marriage altar knowing that God has already called my husband to His will, possibly separating us for a time. But I need to go beyond acquiescence and support my husband whole-heartedly in his decision to follow God's will. Ouch. Hopefully I'll be ready when the time comes. (Why does it seem easier to give my own life away than the life of those I love? Maybe I'm just ignorant.)

Something else I discovered when I was talking to Nater: One of the lead actors, Chad Allen, is a "gay activist." Why was a homosexual man chosen to be the lead part? In the interview quoted on this blog , John MacArthur repeatedly calls Mr. Allen's homosexuality a sin, and the author of that blog (along with others) seems to think that this sin is the reason why he shouldn't be playing the part of a missionary and his son who are deeply respected in the Christian community. Why does this matter? If homosexuality is a sin, and it is equal (in God's sight) to all other sins, and all people sin, then it is a logical conclusion to say that any other actor would have been just as bad of a choice. Of course, the men portrayed by Mr. Allen were sinners themselves, so it would be silly to have a sinless being portray a sinner.

I can understand how this particular sin of Mr. Allen's could be a hindrance, since it is under some serious social scrutiny. However, if Christians are to extend grace toward every sinner, then Mr. Allen should not be discounted from this role simply because of his particular sin. The five missionaries' display of love and acceptance to the Waodani should be exemplified by Christians to homosexuals.

Yay! (beards)

I read an article today in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review about the Steeler's beard epidemic.

(from the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)

Way cool! I love beards! Though, I must admit, when I saw that picture, I didn't recognize Ben. My sister had to chastise me for not knowing the #7 man. Ah, well.

Zorro ,><, (those are crossed swords)

Mm! Defenders with swords make such good movie subjects. "The Legend of Zorro" was a fun movie. It was full of action, yet not mindless in the least. The fighting was excellent, though it did seem somewhat stiff and choreographed when Zorro was fighting multiple opponents. However, any duel would involve more than swords, so fists, feet, capes, and various objects flew around frequently without seeming overused. The romance was handled in a way that I didn't approve... constant kissing devalues a kiss, so when Zorro and Elena finally understand each other and are once again fighting back-to-back, their "make-out sessions" don't hold the same significance *rolls eyes*.

Zorro himself seemed to relish the role, even the uncomfortable parts. The results of his alcoholism seemed realistic, though I haven't had any experience with that, so I really don't have a basis to judge his acting there. Elena was very convincing as a female fighter, and didn't strike me as trying to be manly (as other such characters can be...*coughelizabethswancough*). Joaquin was absolutely adorable! He reminds me of some people I know :-P None of the characters seemed useless or underdeveloped, which is hard to find in recent movies. This movie balanced character development with action in an excellent way.

Issues that were raised weren't ignored by the director. I LOVE that. Balancing family with other demands seems to be of primary concern, but it really isn't. Everyone has alterior motives, whether voluntary or not. Zorro was trying to protect his newly-established state, while his wife was trying to protect their family, and the antagonist was protecting the status of his knight's order. Organized religion was abused quite frequently to further the causes of two specific characters, which made me wonder. Do people often view organized religion that way? But it wasn't central to the story, just a personal interest.

My friend (an engineering student) and I laughed at the silliness of the "lab" where they developed nitroglycerin, which the antagonist used as an explosive. Green globes and flashing bright lights don't make movie sets look like labs...sorry, director. But the situations that the director puts Zorro and Elena in change from sad to depressing to dangerous to funny. None of the emotion seemed contrived, even little Joaquin's tears. My only complaint is that Elena needs to redistribute her clothing and wrap something around her shoulders. I loved the film as a whole.

Arthritis Alert

Yesterday and today were definitely Arthritis Alert days. And if such a thing doesn't exist, I just "existed" it. And I have proof. Both my feet and my old lazy bum of a cat felt stiff as boards and cramped as sardines. I forced the poor kittie to move a bit, since I know that it helps, but I couldn't do for him what I do for myself.

*...long sigh...*

I thank God upon every remembrance of my paraffin bath. And I am not kidding. That thing works miracles on achy, stiff joints by the grace of our Father. I'll get an "amen" from my friends when they grow older, I know :-)

Chronicles of Narnia and commercialism

This article on the commercialism of Chronicles of Narnia was one of the coolest I've ever read about the movie and the ensuing "junk." Although that silver chain with the red lion on the shield pendant still tugs at my emotions, I think that this article has quite a few good things to say about commercializing ideas.

Another brilliant idea from Wheaton. Some day I'd like to visit that college. Hannah? Let me know when you get in...I'll come visit :-)

Children

My word. I swept "my" floors very well today after dinner. And I think they needed it. But they never knew it was coming...and I hardly had a chance to prepare, either.

I was informed on Thursday that a family with 9 children would be coming to visit us for 3 days starting Friday, during which I would host a party for two dear friends. My mother ordered the distribution of guests, and I received the honor of sharing my bedroom with their third child, and the second-oldest daugher.

We played with this family constantly when we lived near them. Their oldest is 5 days older than my sister, but we always found something to do regardless of our ages. We used to make forts in a huge mulch pile at their house, but our play has progressed. This time, we jumped on the trampoline and quoted lines from "The Princess Bride" and washed dishes while discussing "The Importance of Being Earnest."

It was hard to keep their names straight, after a certain point. Of course, I remember Hannah's, Caleb's, Alezah's, Micah's, and Esther's names perfectly fine. I grew up with them. Micah even chewed the legs off of my dollhouse table when he was little! After that it got somewhat fuzzy. Josiah is hard to forget, but his name is so similar to Judah's, that I'd invariably spit out the wrong name. Emma and Ruth Ann were adorable, but if they didn't have such different personalities, then I'm sure I would never have gotten their names right, either. And, of course, the little ones didn't know my name at all. I was just a big playground most of the time :-)

I love this family. Yes, they bicker and have "authority wars" between the oldest and youngest sets of siblings. Yes, their father and mother work hard to keep up with them. But the independence of each child contradicted with their support of each other is beautiful to look at. No family is perfect, but I hope that, some day, my family can model these traits as well.

Our house held up amazingly! I had approximately 20 guests on Saturday while the 10 guests were also here. We stuck the younger children in the basement with a movie, and those who could went ice skating. My guests didn't know about the movie going on downstairs until the soundtrack came wavering up through the floorboards. It was certainly a gift from God to be able to serve these different friends in these different respects.